It’s only a theory

Recent headline: Study Ties Belly Fat to Dementia. A scientifically rigorous inquiry determined that excess weight centered about the midsection correlated with a significantly increased risk of dementia in old age. It should be emphasized that it’s not a matter of simple obesity; those subjects of normal weight but having high levels of belly fat were also at increased risk. The operative presumption is that this fat, surrounding the viscera, has a profound chemical consequence. Mere conjecture!

A more plausible account is to be found outside the lab. We’ve all seen the typical specimen of this condition; spindly arms and legs, a cartoonishly bulbous abdomen and the complete absence of a behind. The accoutrement of choice for these symmetrically challenged souls and the cause of their subsequent ills: suspenders. This simple, seemingly innocuous, expedient contributes to insidious alterations in stance and posture. The resultant redistribution of one’s anatomical burden induces muscle fatigue and spasm, producing vascular constriction, reducing blood flow (imperceptibly) to the brain, ultimately causing cognitive impairment, complete debility and death.

Suspenders: the silent killer.